9

1. Anne is off someplace taking pictures of wild horses. I have no idea what's happening with that.
2. I slept on the couch in our empty lodge. Everyone has people to go and places to see.
3. I dreamt that I went to a wedding in Africa and had to walk across a large ocean bridge with a drunken wedding party. There were a lot of sharks throughout. At some point, I was also wandering around the Koch's house, which was in a snow tundra... but there was a garden on the roof.
4. Yesterday Mike came over and we wrote down favorite quotes from One Thousand Gifts.
5. For someone who has a two day week this upcoming week, I sure have a lot to do. Student teaching is SO UNDERESTIMATED.
6. Yay! Two day week!
7. I spent over an hour looking up movie reviews because I'm in charge of picking between two movies.
8. Mike and I are going to the Chuck Wagon and then to said movie since it's our
9 months today.

dull, doll

Those closest to me are confident in me, but I feel like my little mistakes add up and make me seem like a failure. I feel scrutinized from every angle, and I am exhausted. I am struggling not to be discouraged, despite my accomplishments and growth.

I was telling my roommate these thoughts and she asked if she was supposed to fill out a "roommate evaluation" of me. I told her yes, and they would ask her about my sleeping habits. She immediately responded "She prays in her sleep! She's going to be a damn good teacher!" Referring, naturally, to the other night, when she... well, she heard me praying in my sleep. Katie B, you're a doll.

Michael made me dinner tonight, because I feel :( and because he's great. He also got strawberries because they're my favorite. Michael is a doll as well.

Kyla is sitting and talking with me. We are doing teacher things. She would be a really cute literal doll.

Catherine, Called Birdy

Today, we reviewed the conflicts of the book... then, we discovered the themes of the book... then, we realized the meaning of the title in light of the themes... then, we synthesized the themes of our own lives. My sixth grade classroom was alive with connections! Yes, I kept them a minute after class because the buzz of learning often diffused into muddled chatter, but I was still proud.

Better

Today I felt much more prepared. Besides a couple minute book-scramble-fiasco and the realization that my classroom management must, must, must be spot on, learning was had.

I had a hiccup of doubt when a student begged me to stay for the rest of the semester. He said I was "more fun" than my cooperating teacher, and I said "But you learn more with her!" And he said "Yeah, but--" In my head: "Oh my gosh, they're not learning!" Nah. They're learning. I'm fine. They're fine.

I also have been kicking my cough-thing in the butt with good ol' fashion giant pills. It's working. I feel 90% better. :]

Mmm, mmm, good.

I love Michael and Bethany Berens. They are the coziest couple with the coziest food and the coziest book shelf. Kayla, Mike, and I ate delicious soup and talked Lent with them.

Mmm... :]

8th period prep

The last day of week five was a pretty weighty low. My lesson plan didn't send, my observation time changed, my students talked over me, I felt very sick and tired, I missed lunch, and I cried after my very helpful observing professor met with me. My sub was a 2011 business grad from IWU and I felt embarrassed to have such a hard day in front of this guy who was working for "easy money."

The kids and the sub and my observer and the faculty were all okay. It was just me. At a moment like this, I would ask my students "is this an internal or an external conflict?" to which a sweet little blonde would poke up her hand as a rambunctious boy would blurt "INTERNAL!"

I love teaching, but after today I want to crawl in a hole for a couple hours.

upside

Today, they were quiet in the library. It was all I'd ever wanted.