So, she wants to...?

Rachel: Linnea is in her final interview to be a Financial Literacy Educator.
Kayla: I would like to do something like that... except not with Financial Literacy.

...by it's cover.

I was browsing threadless today, reminiscing on my long-dead t-shirt obsession. I used to define myself using a 95% cotton/5% polyester blend. I think I've hunted down all my old designs.

I probably wouldn't pick any of these to wear now. But it makes me smile to know how fond I was of making myself feel clever. I still, however, am a fan of threadless shirts.

Judgement Confessional

Here's the deal. I'm the oldest I've ever been, so I think I know a lot. I find myself judging people my age -- young adults. People who defend themselves by saying, "I'm grown." People who have fickle values and who model themselves after the entertainment industry. This is my confession: I judge.

I know a lot of "young adults," though. Obviously. I have friends and peers. Many who've had hard lives and no stability. It sucks to pick and choose who's going to influence you as a kid. Nobody deserves that. Nobody deserves dead-beat dads or addict moms. Nobody deserves being pushed aside. Nobody should have to find solace with pushers or manipulators because they accept people they can use.

Survival of the fittest in my generation. For those with parents, that means you'd better succeed for yourself because you've got to achieve to be anything. For those without parents, that means you'd better be tough because life's not on your side -- look tough, talk tough, and walk proud because you're tough.

Either way, my generation's walking into a life of individualism that sucks:

• Don't love people if it hurts your image. 
• Be loyal when it helps your image. 
• Be caring when it's convenient. 
• Hey, definitely keep a meticulous record of wrongs, because you'll probably need to use that later.
• People suck. I do too, but I'm going to mask that behind my perfectly manicured identity. I'm a player. I'm an athelete. I'm the one everybody needs. I'm desirable. I've got class. I've got swagger. I've got something, so you'd best not step on me. ... Please... don't step on me.

We've all got brokenness in common. I judge others' brokenness. I judge the identities they've picked to keep themselves motivated. Judgement is the one thing we're all trying to avoid... so I guess it's not helping anybody. 

My confession is that I judge my peers. My ambition is to love my peers. 

Thoughts and Images from a Monday

Dreams About Whiteboards and Video Game Riddles
I've been feeling restless as school approaches once again. I've had dreams about inadequacy and frustration.

But the existence of my "teacher fears" prove that I am a teacher. Since I have been made a teacher, I can have joy that I have been made adequate and given hope for my students. I am David with his slingshot. How fun.

Pancakes
A circle table is scooted next to a rectangular table. Our party is eight and they try to make the seating comfortable. Anne and I hold hands and pray and laugh. We eat pancakes for 55 cents. Some of us drink coffee. It's a good Monday dinner.

Camping Chairs
I perch on one on the porch as it rains softly.
Kayla sits on one in the living room, putting her feet on the gingham couch.
Anne rests on one after her evening run.

Matt and I 
We sit in the living room because the air unit makes it a few degrees cooler. The computer balances on some books so it doesn't overheat. It sits on a kitchen chair in front of the couch. We plug in speakers so we can hear Parks and Rec over the air. It's simple and fun and something to share. Like our relationship.

Community
Kayla and Renee' drink tea and munch nutella bread at the kitchen table. I join them briefly, wandering in and out of the conversations. I hear them pray and share wisdom at the kitchen table. God fills me back up.

loved

My mom got me clothes and nutella and good food.

Rachel sent me a real riddle while I drove. Anne sent me a fake riddle while I drove.

Matt's reading Harry Potter for my benefit.

Noelle gave me a sweater dress to remember her by.

Dad got me a plane ticket to Shelty's wedding.