definition: content.

I think contentedness is a... a delightful thing. Contentedness is not necessarily feeling comfortable, but rather being comfortable even when a situation is not perfect. Or rather, it is seeing the goodness of a situation.

I can recall many times when I have been in a room or a car with friends. I can picture this in my mind's eye:

Everyone is laughing or talking or cooking or singing and I am silent. I close my eyes and reflect on the fact that I belong in that situation. I am loved and I love in return. Sometimes they've asked me why I'm quiet -- but most of the time they let me curl up contentedly in my thankfulness. I am allowed to simply "be" with them.

I'm sitting in the semi-dark lobby. It's almost 2 am. It's been an odd day and I'll be up for another hour or two doing homework. But there's peace in the silence and the fire's glowing on the mantle words "... remain in His love..." And I will. So here I sit,

content.

i got a llama in the mail

Before I got a llama in the mail, I stayed up until 5 doing homework. It was the most delightful all(most) nighter I've ever pulled. Kayla stayed up with me in Noggle, I got a lot done, we went to Taco Bell, and I sent a girl to the hospital (Libby, Ashley, and Jess were the BEST sports about it. They were legitimately so awesome about Libby's pseudo-appendicitis).

7:50 Mark Twain class -- NAILED IT. Discussion grade: Ace.

Slept through practicum -- not awesome! But I sent an e-mail! So no biggie!

Major homework cram!! Pro-duc-tiv-ity.

English meeting. Free "English Grammar for Dummies" book. It's like they know me.

Methods class -- COASTED beautifully. Learned things. Turned things in. Bam.

Whoever stuck this in my mailbox: Oh my goodness.

Whoever sent this in my mailbox: :)

look at the birds of the air

they're fed. they're clothed. and they're just birds.

aren't you more valuable? what a waste to worry. will it give you more time? another moment even?

seek God first and he will provide.

Matthew 6:25-34

what DO i want?

give me Jesus.

reset

I was originally dressed in khaki-panted luncheon attire today. But, as my e-mail so calmly informed me, the banquet is at noon on Thursday... September 30th. I figured, since I was so far ahead of the game, that I would wait to dress up until the day before or the day of. That seems more appropriate.

SO! It's Plaid Thursday. I'm cleaning my room in order to a) find my plaid and, b) regain my sanity. I'm hoping that I lost it (my sanity) in the laundry or under the Spiderman kite or behind the cardboard table or inside one of the jackets of my Twain library.

Two anecdotes. OR! Twain anecdotes. Twain means two. Did you know that?

1. I woke up the other day and told Anne that I had to spread the ashes because we were going to play a board game.

2. I woke up this morning and asked Anne why there was a grape popsicle in my bed. The funny thing about that was that there really was a grape popsicle in my bed.

One photo. I found this on my door today:

the prodigal phone

I gave it everything -- all my contacts, my safety, my security. It left. Hidden. Gone in the shadows of a passenger seat.

Today it returned. Let us kill the fattened calf.

lost,

my phone is.

pre-sleep anthem

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”- Philippians 2:3-4

I should stop every 15 minutes and say this to myself. Daily.

thankful

Here are things I am thankful for, just pulled from today:

1. The 7:50 club and getting McConn with them 2. Doing well in discussion even when I haven't done all the reading 3. Talking to old friends on the phone, if only for a few minutes 4. Wildcat, which I admittedly think is delicious 5. Our staff and their willingness to fill in for me when I want to do the stupidest things on my on-duty night 6. Anne, my roommate, who reads the Iliad with me 7. For Cat (and the unit), who told me in passing that she was talking to someone about whether or not the girls in our unit could sign up to all live in the same place again next year! 8. Mike, my brother RA, who gives me bread sticks 9. Kayla, who wanders straight into the room and sits on the couch, which makes me happy always 10. For Ben, who is my family and acknowledges it every once and a while in his own sweet way

11. Does staff breakfast tomorrow make me thankful? Well, I'm thankful that I can take a nap after it's over. How about that?

OH. For time with Jesus this morning. Breath of fresh air. I need to return the Bible to the prayer chapel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUwRX2HPLKY

Darren made a comment this morning at Downtown about the "boy" in the feeding of the five thousand. It didn't matter that the boy had 5ish loaves of bread and 2ish fish. He could've had loads of bread or no bread at all. You plus Christ equals abundance.

Come to Christ, Bethany, when you are weary. When you are heavy laden. When you are discouraged. Bring Him your crumbs and your minnow and He will respond in miraculous ways. He will. He will. He will.

Our first BroSo day went swimmingly. The turnout was great, it wasn't super awkward, volleyball/4 on a blanket/catch phrase was confusing but fun. The only downsides were personal: I have an aversion to losing and I really struggle with kinesthetic self consciousness. Otherwise, though! It was encouraging and exciting to begin to get to know the E3W guys!

Homework time! :)

-peter pan

"Girls talk too much."

bonding

My role will be different this year than it was last year. Because I'm an RA and not a chaplain, but also because I'm a junior. The gap widened a little bit and I feel surprisingly comfortable with being a mentor, a supporter, a friend... last year I would've wanted to be best friends with all these girls. And I think we will be good friends, but I'm actually okay with the little bit of distance that comes with more experience on my part.

Making t-shirts ended up being amazingly time consuming but totally worth it. The shirts ended up being a catalyst for participation -- we had enough girls for a team with a couple leftover to cheer. I was uuuuutterly shocked. Our unit, North Hall East 3 West, got 2nd in Lodge Ball!!! They were beasts and they got to know each other. They added each other on facebook, took pictures, and gabbed afterwards.

Tonight, I didn't see the girls at all and I was nervous that no one was going to want to make the boat. I put the cardboard out and put a sign on it that we'd make a boat at 10 pm. I didn't see any girls around, so I went downstairs and didn't come back up until 10:30, where there was a half a dozen girls sitting on the floor... just waiting... for me to tell them what to do. I almost cried. Not really. But my heart leaped about 5 feet. I showed the girls pictures of a boat that had won a couple years ago, and they set to work making something similar. I didn't even stay the whole time -- I went to Walmart (twice) for duct tape and visited the Tasty Cake at SHCE 3W. The girls took pictures, made popcorn, ate chocolate, sang songs... my heart melllllttted. I really like them. They're so open to relationships. I'm looking forward to getting to know them! I have to remember that initiating things with them is important -- that's my role right now.

They're looking forward to interacting with our brother unit. I talked several times about the great opportunities that friendships can bring in a supportive brother/sister dealio... the fact that they can automatically be friends if they accept each other for their uniqueness and, in that way, will be able to encourage one another to grow. Two of my girls went home this weekend, but they're coming back early intentionally so they don't miss our first brother/sister unit event.

Anne just put salt in a cut she has in her mouth. Because she's a crazy.

I'm sitting next to Kayla on the couch. It feels good and normal and comfy. I'm listening to Fidelity by Regina Spektor. It's one of my favorites. I like the bouncy little tune. I feel like it could be the background to my life sometimes. Not the words, the tune. Kayla's making jokes. She's being a joker. Which, I recently learned, is apparently different from being a jokeSTER. But I still love her. :)

challenges and gifts

This is pre-all-nighter act of catharsis.

Challenges. I walked out of my 7:50 Mark Twain Seminar class on Tuesday with the following assignment: watch 3 youtube videos, overview 3 databases, read a 30 page article, read 4 short stories, update the online encyclopedia, and write a 4 page paper... due Thursday. Go. Oh, it was utterly laughable. I'm interested in Mark Twain and I like a challenge, but I'm also an RA in a freshmen dorm. So, I took a deep breath.

I then walked into my night class, Methods of Teaching English. It began with a panel of students who had taken the class last semester. They did reassure us that the class was utterly worthwhile and entirely vital. They also used phrases like "blood and tears" and described their different phases of mental/emotional breakdowns. The syllabus was not a syllabus. It was a literal folder. It outlined all of the work that I would do this semester in the class, and it was packaged like raw meat... I visualized it dripping with my blood and tears and making that bright red folder soggy. I walked out of the class and my brain was soggy. I journalled during the break my desire to drop my major. I journalled my feelings of inadequacy -- too intellectual for my relational friends and not intellectual enough for my scholarly peers.

Blessings.

I walked back to my dorm and there was an encouraging note in the shape of an inside joke sitting on my chair. There was also a snack. I've been ridiculously blessed with an uplifting brother RA.

Today I got a package in the mail from one of my best friends. It was an I-saw-it-and-thought-of-you gift. A half a cup. I would rather get one I-thought-of-you gift a year than 1000 presents because of a birthday or holiday. How special. :)

Even though it took a lot of time out of my day, making shirts ended up being a great catalyst for Lodge Ball today. I got to give a screamy pep speech, watch the girls win, and jump up and down with them. They bonded, took pictures, and added each other on facebook. I couldn't be more happy with them. I also go to see the most epic Lodge Ball game ever. David Goodwin is RIDICULOUS. Nikki covered for me that whole time on my first on duty night. She was so great to volunteer -- I didn't even ask.

Elle and Jeanette brought Anne and I McConn "just because." Two years ago, they were in our exact positions. I love the tradition behind that. I love that we were friends before it even happened. I love that I'm sipping on a 16 oz zebra at the beginning of a long night.

I love my Anne's, I love my Allison's, I love my Kayla's, I love my staffs, I love my brothers, I love my residents, I - LOVE - MY - WHOLE - DORM. I can do anything, yeah yeah, I can do anything good.......

wooooooo

I'm jazzed. I'm jazzed about this year. This year's gunna be a good, good year.

Our staff is crazy-awesome. The diversity is beautiful. We're introverts, extroverts, creative, straight-forward, organized, spacey, loud, quiet -- everything. Our brother staff is ridiiiicuuulous -- I'm not sure I've ever met a more chivalrous group of guys. They're also kind of hilarious. And they have brains. With the combined powers of NOeast and SOeast, we make one sick group of people. The good sick. Obviously. I've only talked briefly with girls on my unit, but I have a good feeling about them. I hope I'm right! OH! I'm so glad I'm rooming with Anne and right down the hall from Kayla. AND everyone and their dog lives in the Lodges! There are so many pros to this year. And WILDCAT IS OPEN! And MCCONN IS OPEN! Man, I'm jazzed.

Today I was part of a scavenger hunt. It was the most beautiful, breezy day I think I've ever had the pleasure of enjoying. I sat outside of Williams prayer chapel and had teams find the word "goat" in a weird Bible. :) Somewhere at the luau, there was someone with a "Subtraction" name tag... but I never found them. So I, "Addition," was left forlorn. Not really.

Chris, Kyle, Ben Tyler, Zach Arneson, Nick Rassi, Anne, Emily, and I went to Starbucks, Taco Bell, split cars, and back to North Hall to play cards. Hailey and I got destroyyyed at Egyptian rat screw by Rachel and Mike. Next time, I'm going to win. Decision made.

Tomorrow begins classes. The 7:50 club is meeting at the Bricks to walk. If I go to sleep now, I'll get 7 hours. AH.

dear californians

I hope you're having delightful times. Pray that I'm able to initiate conversations and relationships effectively! I'm not a natural initiator. At all. The girls seem pretty cool so far. Time will tell how awesome they really are on the inside.

I posted pictures of my unit decs on my facebook, since people asked. The pictures aren't legit and the lighting is less legit -- but they're res halls, so there you have it.

I watched The Iron Giant today with Kayla, Emily, and some of the girls. (Let's see... Cat... and... Rebecca... and... Casey).

Please please please pray for my unit, myself, and all the relationships within that. Tomorrow, NSO ends and the girls are left to build relationships on their own. Several of my girls don't have cell phones and that freaks me out a littllllllllle.

As Kayla would say, "Peace, love, and coldplay."

*collapse*

A couple parent quotes...

"Thems med-cine cabnits."

"It's amazing how many sardines can fit into one can."

Hiiiiiiii, I'm Bethany, I'm your RA...

Okay so all the freshmen are moving in and I'm walking them through everything and welcoming parents and fielding questions and all that fun stuff.

Kayla, Mike, and I are having a contest to see who can get all their residents moved in first. Since we don't have any control over when they arrive, it's kind of chance. But STILL.

The movers are doing a great job -- they're such beasts. I feel like they're showing their dedication to the mentoring program/the moving program by lifting fridges up four flights of stairs.

I'm not sure if I like this more than handing out keys as a chaplain. I feel more pressure to start off on the right foot.

....... too much coffee. So much adrenaline.

yeah, I'm blogging a To-Do list

-Storage unit

-Meet w/ Mike, bring schedule (laptop?)

-Withdraw moneys

-Send packages

-Take out loan

-Send practicum request sheet with copy of class schedule

-Welcome Kendra from Canada

-Memorize Tik Tok (feat. Neast Staff)

-Clean room

-Put up mirror

-Put away art supplies in the narnia study closet

-Show Anne VPM

I juggled in front of Res Life for a hoodie today. Emily dyed my hair brown today. I bought blonde bobby pins today. I did laundry today. Life was good today. Feelin' Jessica's daily affirmation-esque.