well

Tuesdays and Thursdays are sleep-in days. I'm fascinatingly privileged in that I get to wake up to the sun... slowly stretch... and begin.

My beginning began a little begun-er than I would've liked today, but sometimes things need to be done. I had a "Disposition Meeting" with Dr. McCracken which began with, "How well do you believe you manage your time?" and was followed by, "Well, as you might have noticed, I was ten minutes late for our meeting so... haha... ummm..." and, luckily, concluded well enough.

-Lunch with Katelyn and Kayla (Amish children everywhere)

-Philosophy with a side of quiz

-McCulloch Middle School (I critically thought about the fascinating subject of botany with a 7th grader. Ohhhh... ahhh.... No, but she shared a little about her life and asked me how I decided to become a teacher. She got out of homework for a couple minutes. Smart girl.)

-Sold my academic soul to the school for another semester

-2 more metacogs + working on the TEP application

-Dinner with the genuinely interesting and remarkably passionate Hannah Hagger

And here I am. Sitting in The Comfy Chair. Battling out whatever sickness is invading my body with tea (On guard!). Last night I finished The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, which was interesting (and one must understand that I don't use interesting like some people use "fine" or "okay" or "she has a great personality." But that's an explanation that I won't push for now) and, maybe just to me, humorous. With tCIotDitNT's (haha) conclusion, I started Inexcusable for Adolescent Lit so... more to come on that, possibly. Ah! Procrastination! Get behind me!

imma not be happy sometimes

motif of the day: So I was reading Ephesians this morning and underlined some things and made a note, "the same power that conquered the grave lives in me!" Today sweet, sweet Laura Dahl talked about that power in chapel and she made it actually applicable to my current state of unexplainable "blah." I am loved in my pitifulness. God transcends. ALSO! The verse that I put out this morning had to do with being called to suffer. It was supposed to be put out Friday but I fell asleep before putting it out. Basically it was meant for today. I like to think it was.

Well, Death Cab is following me into the dark, so I think I'm going to take a cat nap on a McConn armchair.

retreat

after i finished my big fat greek unit plan, i covered myself in feathers, chopped off my head, and ran around accordingly.

the staff dashed into the van and we were off to emily schrock's house, which has officially put a new spin on my original idea of an "Indiana farm house." i'd like to utilize my favorite adjective and slap a "delightful" sticker on the schrock experience... so i will.

we went star tipping, ate good food, drank too much coffee, played psychiatrist, and watched meet the parents. i personally ogled (oogled? oggled? oooggglleeddd? aoisvoisbaroi?) at the cute kitchen, the cute silo, the cute photo albums, and the cute rooms.

the rest of the staff now continues their retreat as RAs and lindsay and myself, the leadership, go about the rest of our saturday as regular civilians. [moosh]i'm a little sad that the year is coming to a conclusion and i feel as though i barely know these wonderful girls. i'm also a little encouraged that i've had the opportunity to serve with each of them.[/moosh]

i plan on blogging later today about the horrors of actually applying to the TEP, an endeavor that i am about to start after i press "publish post."

publish post.

the bunker

Well, I've been in here for a while now and I'm pretty sure there's something going down in the library. The girl at the desk behind me has made her desk into a bunker. There's a bag of cough drops, coffee, a water bottle, a literal box of tissues, a Bible, textbooks, a coat, vapor rub... that's all I can see (without staring) on the desk. So it seems she has planted herself in the library. Literally. Well, figuratively. But literally. Here is a video to display what is going down. Use your superhuman vision. There are a pair of feet next to the chair. The feet are connected to a person. The person is laying underneath the desk. My fascination, which normally would've been a little smile to myself, was admittedly heightened because I had been in the library for hours with little companionship. ;)

je ne veux pas travailler

Hi, I'm Bethany, and I'm a poser. I speak about as much French as an African parrot in it's native land of the Congo (anybody?... anybody?... doubtful). The title, then, is only an explanation of what I've been doing the past couple hours and how I feel about it... and it's a title of a song that some girl in my summer French class gave me. It means "I do not want to work." If you ever get kidnapped by easily persuaded French pirates who want you to do their every bidding, this is a good phrase to know.

Well, I have thoughts about craving laziness as opposed to "not eat[ing] the bread of idleness." Unfortunately, in order to expound, I would have to endulge in that which I am trying to stop... craving. That sentence was unfortunate. But the point remains! I'm gone!

galatians 5:6, 22-26

"For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

...But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other."

I was going to write a normal post, but I've decided to instead reference a couple verses that stuck out to me today and, at this moment, have compounded meaning. The Word's truth stretches through time and circumstance to meet us where we are -- isn't God faithful?

disregard this post, casual readers.

Monday	22		Tuesday	23	Wednesday	24	Thursday	25	Friday	26
					-Quia -French Composition -Grammar Test Due		-Philosophy Quiz		-French Test -Unit Plan Due
		29		30		31		1		2
-Finish Homeless Bird			-Sign up for classes				-Fully applied to Teachers Education Program -Webpage Due		Spring Break

There's my schedule for the next two weeks with all the major things that are due. A breakdown of why these things are significant...

Grammar Test- "take home" is misleading... 6+ hours of time

Quia- 20 french assignments

Philosophy quiz- self explanatory

French test- self explanatory

Unit plan due- a unit overview, a block plan, 5 lesson plans, and an assessment plan (DEATH)

Homeless Bird- a little book for adolescent lit, which will inevitably be my weekend read

TEP- 2 edited metacognitive papers, 1 autobiography, 1 philosophy paper, 1 copy of my Praxis scores, 1 teacher disposition, 1 application, 1 interview

Webpage- a hypothetical classroom webpage

tacos

yesterday: getting to know the new staff, panera, choco chip pamcakes, a scavenger hunt (anyone hear me belting the star spangled banner? probly), big fish with kylee (she'd never seen it before! ahhh!), and a little late night chat with kayla :)

today kayla and i headed over to Exit Downtown (our loverly church) and made 400 tacos with a great group of people. three hours later, the tables were set and the church feasted. it was good times.

i will now embark upon the U.S.S. Homework towards the Bermuda Triangle, aka my Unit Plan. ohhh boy.

(edit: the U.S.S. Homework took off without me after i accidentally boarded the Schedule Fall Classes... Yacht? so now i'm tug boating my way out of a four-year plan and towards the horizon. what does that mean? i dunno, but it's 2 hours later and all i know is what classes i'm taking for the rest of my life. the only disappointment in life is the inability to take shakespeare spring of my senior year... conflabbit student teaching)

-and coooassst

the sun is shining, the tank is clean, and we're leaving for our staff retreat in a couple hours. woohoo! classes cruised by for the most part- i spent parts of french staring out the window at the two or three classes that decided to move outside... lucky ducks. summation of pre-retreat: classes, arranging advising meetings (early. what WHAT!), climbing trees (well... okay, kayla and bobby), skateboarding (well, okay.... that was them too), witnessing noelle drive a 15 passenger van like a PRO, and... oh! hey, this morning i sewed up my socks.

.... that's it! PEACE! get off your computer! go outside!

here comes the sun (la la, la la)

well it's deliciously nice outside. it's almost cold glass of lemonade weather and i have a feeling the snow is not coming back. (whoo-whoo! that's right! you walk away! see ya on the flip siiiide)

my schedule got spread out and things got postponed and phewww, thank goodness.

i had a thought this morning about the appeal of "the world" when i saw a lady bug crawling along our fluorescent light. you know what, little bug? you're looking for the SUN. you belong outside -- that's where you have a purpose -- to eat and fly and pollinate. but at night, when you didn't see the sun (though it was there) you crawled inside and were tricked by the eerie pseudo sun that hangs from our ceiling. now you crawl baaack and forth, desperate to be closer to that ugly light. little do you know that if you accomplish your goal, you will die. be brave! go outside! the sun will come every morning without fail, but we control the lights inside and they can go out any time.

my not-really last will and testament.

I have a lot of work and a staff retreat smack dab in the middle. I have no idea what's going on with my family.

In short, I have NO time coming out of my ears --a Q-tip wouldn't get any time out of me; a surgical ear irrigation wouldn't get any time out of me. Free time Bethany will die as productive Bethany thrives.

So here it is, my not-really last will and testament:

-God, I'd like to give you my devotion.

-Kayla, I'd like to give you my admiration and support.

-Anne, Allison, and other friends from last year, I'd like to give you those small words of encouragement that fit neatly in passing

-All my freshmen friends, I'd like to give you my relationship to God and whatever actions that implies

-To women on staff that have become more than women on staff, I'd like to give you my thanks

-To every friend and every stranger, I'd humbly like to give you God's love

-To Satan, I give you nothing.

tiny updates.

spiritual. God has been pursuing me in very tangible ways. I've been swallowing it without fully returning it. Sometimes without returning it at all. Oh, Bethany. How foolish. Here's to that statement never being true again. Here's my heart, Lord.

academic. Between this week and next week, I've got to create a unit plan (ohhhhh sweet nectar of life), "grade" 11 more metacognitive papers, and apply to the TEP (I love you, past Bethany. But I don't have to like you right now). That's the big stuff outside of regular homework.

social. Loving roommate, staff, unit, and friends. Though I am so blessed, I still find myself wanting in certain respects. Here's my heart, Lord. :)

theme of the day. "i'm late. i'm late. for a very important date"

we went to "the artist within" and glazed ceramics. it was definitely the best unit event everrrr. needless to say, i made everyone and their dog late because i decided that i wanted the inside of my mug to have a painted white rabbit and the edge of it to have a little painted pocket watch. legit. well... we'll see. the point is, i owe jonica, emily, kayla, lindsay, natalie, shara (not really), amber, and meagan some patience.

so after we got back for dinner (late), laura and i went to walmart (late), and i sent everyone their worship schedules (late). but NOW i'm caught up in life. sweet victory.

money and weather. small talk of the century.

a serious note: i just guesstimated (aka completed) my fafsa and, with a sigh, noted the number that the government believes my family could contribute to my education. it was a big number. and it was a lie. ah well, i'm not worried about money. i just wish my parents weren't. as far as God's concerned, i can keep right on pursuing servanthood and He'll keep right on paving the necessary holes in the road with money. today's chapel was "Don't Worry" and today's hall verse was "Don't be anxious in anything..." i wonder how many hours i have attempted to add on to my life that way? ;)

a less-than-serious note: i've attempted to hold back from repeating the words that everyone and their dog has vomited today. i've attempted to think of sarcastic or ironic things to say in order to poke a little fun at the vomiters. but i come up with little and i'm jumping on the bandwagon. was it not a BEAUTIFUL day?! kayla and i took a walk and talked about nothing -- what a privilege.

what actually happened in life today? class. spiritual discipline info sheet. metacogs. walks. unit dinner. worship meeting. talking with emily. (witty maybe).

please enjoy this quote from my mom: "you could make a documentary of just the feet in berkeley"

do you have any... bethanys?

all last year i lost my ID, but never perminantly. i was proud. i thought i was going to be one of those people who kept their IDs until senior year. unfortunately, my ID broke at the beginning of this year, so i bought a new one. THIS one, i told myself, will last until senior year! but after spring break i couldn't find it, so i bought a new one today. a minute ago i found my second ID.

i now have three IDs. i've officially started a deck of IDs.

...do you have any... Bethanys? knowing me, the answer will be "go fish"

kayla thought the mouth wash was hand sanitizer.

the sun is out and everyone's in a good mood. i'm in a good mood. you're in a good mood. it's good times.

speaking of good times.

-good times is baldwin trays outside.

-good times is turning in homework well done (in another language) and getting good grades back (in another language).

-good times is having a project presentation due tonight in night class and not having started on it but knowing everything will be okay because you'll work on it outside.

spring break [eighth... and ninth]

yesterday we went to the mellow mushroom (pizza meets catholic church meets woodstock) and the green bean (gears meets artwork meets awesome meets coffee). we drove for a million years, listened to a million songs, and i did a million grammar assignment questions. we crashed with brittany and elle at about 1 am.

today i ate a macaroon and kool aid for breakfast. i felt like that was important enough to blog about. brittany, kayla, and i went to exit downtown and culvers. THANK you, indiana, for your gift of sun ... although i'm looking out the window and thinking i should have just knocked on some wood.

i just uploaded the video for day 1, everything for day 2, the video for day 4, and this post. so obviously i've wasted some time. onward to homework!

spring break [seventh... and sixth]

I'm sitting in Global village with Kayla, Jill, Dave, Ashley, and Kat. It's this awesome little intercultural coffee hub on NC State and Kayla's favorite thing on the shelf is this weird ceramic thing that she called an aligator thing. It... doesn't really look like an aligator. But I didn't tell her that. It IS green and it DOES have two teeth so... I could see where she's getting it.

We've been at NC State since yesterday (after we visited Kayla's high school- which she apparently rules haha- and got our hair chopped). Yesterday could be summed up pretty easily. We stayed over at Jill and Sarah's house off campus, went to Lilly's Pizza (TRIPPIN'), went to Josh's to watch the office and be eaten by Sally, and saw Alice at midnight with Jill. I'm tempted to say I didn't like Alice -- but I'm so read-the-book-first-and-have-an-attachment-to-the-Disney-movie-of-my-childhood, I feel like I can't judge. The plot was really simple, I think that's what turned me off a little. The fact that it was midnight, we all agreed, turned my enthusiasm down a notch.

Sarah is awesome, btw, because she gave me her bed since I'm an 80 year old man and I semi-threw out my back. I woke up to Kayla in my face, as per usual, telling me we were gunna leave in 10. I like Raleigh. It's cool here.

We drove back. I accomplished no homework BUT I did drink 4 glasses of crystal light and watch All About Steve and Paper Heart. So at least... I'm hydrated.

spring break [fifth]

The best part about sleeping in during break is not something physical. It is the freeing fact that no matter what alarm goes off or how much the sun pokes you in the eyes, you can put your head under the pillow and think about your dreams alllll you want. I have never considered myself an advocate for wasting time, but the freeing concept of having time in your own pockets is great- it's like being six years old and being paid a quarter for picking up sticks in the backyard. You really have no need for a quarter as a six year old, but there you have a shiny, tangible coin in your pocket just in case you'd like a... well, you don't know what you'd buy with a quarter- you're only six!

We lunched at Yum Yum Better Ice Cream and it was the best chilly cheese dog slash chocolate ice cream in a cone I've had in 20 years. It was Kayla and Hilary and me and I felt like one of the sisters, which was unique, as I've never had a sister before. :) We went to a great used bookstore, Ed McKays, and we mulled and mulled and muullllled over good hard cover books, random classics that past-Bethany would've wanted to read in order to feel accomplished, intriguing children's stuff, and a huge Alice in Wonderland collage poster. I don't buy things easily, but I did stare at the cover of a Calvin and Hobbes book... didn't cave though. Read on.

I have also made a decision. Whatever it is, whether it be the brick buildings or the trees or atmosphere, I like North Carolina. I would live in Greensboro, I think. Or I would at least not reject it as an option. I have commitment issues haha- the future is anything and I have no need to box myself in!

You know what another excellent experience is? Watching a movie you've liked since childhood with a friend you wish you would've known since childhood. Today we watched Alice in Wonderland as a reference point for Tim Burton's version that's coming out this week.

PS- We watched Julia&Julie, ate dinner, and saw Avatar. We're laundrying. PPS- Mrs. Wrigley makes BOMB cookies. Imma go eat granola and yogurt for the win.

spring break [forth]

So at little after 12 this morning/last night, we took turns reading Hope for the Flowers, a book about the caterpillars Stripe and Yellow who find their purpose – it was excellent. Then we hit the hay.

8 hours later, we woke up and DeJo headed the breakfast endeavor: mango smoothies, eggs in a nest, and ridiculously homemade muffins. The Wisconsin cheese and spazzy woodpecker were like the icing on the cake. PS- the Wrigleys do NOT get wild birds in their house, it’s a lie. But if you ever want a pet bird that hides in your hair, get a parotlette. Clarification. The muffins were ‘ridiculously’ in an awesome way.

After we cleaned up, the Wrigleys piled our arms full of sack lunches and cookies, complete with a note from Bobby’s mom (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!) J There wasn’t enough thank you in my body to give. The whole trip was just proof that a hundred tiny good moments are what make life great. God is so good.

As far as the drive is concerned: We drove through Indiana, Ohio, almost-Kentucky, West Virginia, Virgina (as in "is for Lovers"), and into North Carolina. We spent a lot of the time listening to music and watching the landscape -- Charleston, Greensboro, and Cincinnati were our biggest cities and West Virgina had the biggest slash only turn pike of mountainness.

In the midst of our trip, Kayla became a genius question asker and we discussed the following questions in depth:

1. If you could be any person, thing, word, or concept, what would it be and why? Kayla answered: a stream of music (at that moment, she felt like the piano melody from the "ohhhhhh I--" part in Ben Fold's Cologne) and I answered: wind

2. If you could pick one word to describe the other person (not necessarily an adjective), what would it be? Kayla said "stories" for me because it surrounds the way I relate to people and the way I relate myself to others and because I love the details of stories and how everything intertwines in real life, books, and movies. I said "harmony" for Kayla -- partly because of her passion for love and community among people, partly because of her desire to compliment what is around her and make it better, and partly because of the fact that she reminds me of music in a lot of different ways. (After we talked about this, Kayla said "I feel known" and we had a bonding moment.)

3. If you weren't thinking about all the constraints of reality, what job would you want to have more than anything? Kayla: astronaut because you're involved in something so much bigger than yourself, you get to be in the infinity of space, and you get to be on such a great adventure that is so unique and awesome. Bethany: either a writer of the perfectly woven novel, a voice actor, or an old-school Sherlock Holmes-esque detective. Kayla pointed out the last one, because she's [insert better word than 'awesome' here].

Interesting signs we saw on the way:

-"Born Again Thrift Shop"

-"Unique Pain Care: Legitimate Pain Relief" (<-- that giant sign was on a big faded blue factory building with streams of grey smoke coming out the top... shady)

-"Attention Drug Dealers! You Are Being Watched!"

spring break [third]

Today was ¾ driving and ¼ Wrigley house.

¾ Driving: We said goodbye to Captain Johnson and hit the road Jack. Driving was pretty straightforward and Garmin (our GPS that I’m not allowed to name, but I just call him by his brand name) was pretty much leading the way until we were in Chicago (Chi-Town, “the city”, all that jazz) and decided to take a little detour to Wrigley field. We felt like it was appropriate since we were on the way to the Wrigley’s. We parked, asked a bartender how to pay for parking, and exchanged cameras with a tourist couple – it worked out well. Unfortunately for us, there was a highway entrance blocked off and Garmin doesn’t speak “Caution – No Entrance,” so we had to improvise. Turns out Kayla and I need to take some improv classes, because it took us about an hour of compromising with Garmin, road maps, orange cones, and a gas station attendant until we were fully back on course. BUT we did get to see Chicago- downtown Chicago, uptown Chicago, main Chicago, Lake Michigan… we even got to see scenic Gary Indiana (Gary INdiana, Gary In-di-an-a, my home sweet home) -- so overall it was a win- win.

¼ Wrigley House: Arrival and eating. Ashley, David, Bobby, Kayla, and I bundled up and took a walk. Ashley, David, and Bobby told us about the time that they saw a UFO… I’m beginning to realize that I know an inordinate amount of people who believe conspiracy theories or in aliens or have seen aliens or have been abducted by aliens… I’m wishing I was in on it. Maybe I should just camp out in a cornfield for a couple years? Summer activity picked. Post-walk, we hot-cocoa-ed, talked, and then midnight hit.