facebook is

an evil demon that keeps you from doing good things like reading or being a human. REPENT! All ye--- ... novelty of melodrama is dead.

Dad threw out his back. He basically caber-tossed himself into a 45 degree angle. So he and I went to the doctors office today, then we went shopping, then I treated him to Panera Bread - which he had never had!

Then we had "family time"? WHUUT is that. Becca joined Ben, Bethany, Scott, and Cindy in a rousing game of Catch Phrase. Personal favorite. Ben wanted to describe a tank, but changed his mind about how to explain it. It sounded like this: "OKAY- FISH!!! NO!!! GENERAL SHERMAN LIKES THIS!!!!" Beep-beep-beep. A point for us.

Afterwards, I taught a cautious mother and the Ben/Becca duo spicey uno. At first they seemed wary, but as things grew competitive and I spoke enthusiastically in my South American/Indian accent... they got into it. Ben drew a triforce next to his name. Classy.

two hands

one hand: I'm getting a ridiculous amount of sleep every night.

other hand: I've been wasting time at night or in the morning.

resolve: Regular bedtime. Regular alarm time. Regular eating habits.

currently: I'm listening to music that I got from my unit. :) I've been looking at teas for my birthday and spending far too much time doing MBTI research.

reflections: Spicey uno("You Know")/Sound of Music/book binding/knitting/talking at Nick's with Shelty, Auntie Anna, and Grandma. Nipper gave me a big sweater, which I place affectionately next to my Chrisper scarf and my antique Spinner books. I am not a gifty person (I just typed that backwards without thinking...), but my friends are the best gifters.

Below is a Nick photo from today. Click here to see his blog. Browse the genius that lingers.

merry christmas :)

I got about 15 texts from across the country this morning. I was torn between "Muhhhhhh... stop texting me" and "Ohhh, that's so nice that they texted me." So if you look at your outgoing texts and see that you texted me before 11 am California time --- you woke me up. ;)

Here's something I found on my wall from this summer:

B

E

TH

A

NY

contented sigh of relief

I had a problem titling this blog post. I started to write "ahhh" to represent a contented sigh of relief. But written out, that could translate into a frustrated "ahhh" or a freaked out "ahhh" or a hurt "ahhh" or an I'm-looking-at-something-pretty "ahhh." All and all, I realized that "ahhh" doesn't clearly represent relief. Then I thought about "mmm," but that's more of a satisfaction thing -- am I hungry or what? It was in the middle of the "B" section of an alphabetical list of Onomatopoeic Words that I realized the jig was up. Hence the title, "contented sigh of relief."

Today I read my Bible and prayed properly. It was a breath of sweet, fresh air. I'd been off center. I wasn't properly anchoring myself to God, so everything was off-kilter. Frank Peretti's analogy of a chair is one of my favorites in that regard. Well, it felt lovely. I found my journal of life-verses and thoughts that I had started over the summer. I'll make sure to bring that to IWU.

I also sewed up my other sleeve: I've had this shirt from Thrift Town that's very soft and comfy, but much to large. I sewed up one of the sleeves at the beginning of the year, but things got busy. So every once and a while, I would shuffle around the dorm in a big, unevenly-sleeved t-shirt. I don't think people noticed... they would've given me loose change or something if they had.

I've decided on what I'm going to do for gifts. I am not a gifty person, but many little birdies have told me about the gifts that are coming my way from friends, and soooo -- I will return the material love, in my own way.

We watched Dial M for Murder. My mom, dad, and I. Alfred Hitchcock is a genius. I've always thought it and will always say it. I am not a fan of suspense and horror, but the classiness of his movies and the way he revolutionized film and story -- awesome. He's also quite the card himself. Hilarious, dry humor. He could dry and press a bouquet of flowers with one quippy remark.

I bought some Glenn Miller music today. Big band music, black and white movies... those used to be what I was allllll about. The affection's still there, but I've just grown and become less elitist in taste haha :) If only Brave at Sea had an album out!!

home

Today I went to Shelty's and got to see Nick, Matt, Christine, and Erin. I use their Christian names for clarity purposes :) We played Hand and Foot (an awesome card game), drank tea, debriefed semesters, and talked in our own language. Lots of "dog," "mom," "she-she," "you-you"... it's fun to watch -- maybe a little hard to understand for foreigners.

Speaking of foreigners, Spencer might be stuck in the UK for Christmas. Heathrow got 4 inches of snow and everybody's FREAKING OUT. Poor kid. But he has Kevin and English friends. They're "proper ledge"... or something.

Speaking of something, I'm exhausted. It's 4 am IWU-time. I could pretend like this is me adjusting to California time. But I've actually wasted an hour doing nothing. I don't want to waste time. Ridiculous. Wingahdium gotobedsah!

Peace.

post

Post-academia. It's a beautiful thing.

I mean, yesterday was the Res Life Christmas party. Our staff was a grouping of presents. We sang "All I Want For Christmas" to South Hall (since they're our new brothers this year, an' all). At the beginning of the song we ripped off our presents and our shirts had giant photos of our brother RA's pinned to them. Creepy AND amusing.

Today was homework-free (which is, of course, the best kind of free).

Lots of cleaning happened. My favorite job was cleaning the 3rd floor's communal microwave. Did I say "favorite"? I meant to say "cover your food when you put it in the microwave." But for some reason it came out "favorite."

B-dubs with the brother staff. Spicey uno (!!!) at South Hall. Doubles ping pong. I don't really remember what happened with that... I vaguely remember Aaron and I giving each other high fives... oh. That's right. We won. But Danielle has enough spicey uno cards with her name scribbled on them to make her feel just fine about it.

I'm so thankful for our staff. I'm so thankful for Kayla right now. She's asleep next to me. I'm happy the semester's over, looking forward to going home, excited for next semester... it's time, though, to start spending some very quality time with God.

walk it off

How everyone else finished their semester:

How I finished mine:

it would make me feel a lot better to post a suspect list

kylee german allison schroer

anne johns kayla johnson

kelly koch matt lutz

mike conner chris arney

kyle kunzmann jeanette jain

elle kernitz katelyn barnhart

nick rassi emilie schrock

julie schultz shara mcclanahan

lindsay britton emily larson

lauren rudd danielle faust

noelle hagen OR zach aument

someone up there sent me an encouragement package. one day i'll find them out.

for now, i'll continue the zombie routine.

Noname.

One day, Noname will have a name. Hopefully one day soon. Have I not introduced Noname? Well, Noname is my new little white elephant teapot. We don't have time to talk because I'm doing a whole semester project tonight.

This is my second all-nighter. Or am I not allowed to call it an all-nighter because I slept for an hour between 6:30 am and 7:30 am?

Either way. I drank a lot of Noname tea and I'm buckling in for... completion.

I'm so tired.

To the Teapot Bandit: You are legit. You are deeply appreciated. And I am deeply curious.

headbeatswall... headbeatswall... headbeatswall

Inside jokes that Anne and I think are REALLY funny at 3 am... that are based on true stories.

"UhhhIII overdosed my roommate on Advil... do I still haveta write this paper?"

"Uhhhmmyy roommate ate an entire box of Hersey's kisses with the aluminum... do I still haveta write this paper?"

"Uhhhmmyy roommate cut of the circulation in their toe with a balloon and had to get it amputated... do I still haveta write this paper?"

Anne also started curiously poking at her head as I was telling her about Mark Twain, then in the middle of a sentence she violently smacked herself in the forehead. There was something, she said, in there... and it just kept... doing things.

I fished a painkiller out of my pocket for her knees and an advil for her head... so hopefully those go just fine together. I'm picturing myself sitting in the emergency room with my laptop, writing a paper. It's comical. But cry-now/laugh-later comical.

'kay, more writing. Haven't stopped working. Don't remember since when.

at Starbucks

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alne is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge. -Psalm 62:5-8

0_o

I'm the old man in the Ocean Spray commercial. Except substitute "projects/reports" for cranberries.

I'm Tom Hanks in Apollo 13 when the crew shuts down the lunar module, signs off, and drifts in space with zero communication.

survival mode

Sleep is scarce. Appetite is foreign. Certain necessities have become mechanical. Work is my life-blood. Being dramatic is fun at 2 am.

It is snowing blizzally outside. I've just invented a new adverb. There are almost 200 feet of Christmas lights hanging between my window and South hall.

We sang "12 Days of CheckOut" for the freshmen. I wore someone's footy pajamas. Loved every moment. Sometimes I have to do things that aren't homework. Look at me. I'm not a robot. I'm much too cute to be a robot.

... okay. Back to work.

wuh-PSH!

Noelle Hagen smacked me in the face today. Metaphorically. I've been woken up from my Puddleglummyness, glimpsed at the joy I've had, and am juuust motivated enough to launch myself into a duel with homework.

Luckily, I've got my PU-36 SPACE MODULATORRR.

in the world of wayside

Today has not gone as planned. Not that there was a plan. But if there had been a plan, the results would've been different. Today was a wayside day.

I should've coasted through Mark Twain because I didn't read our 19 chapters of homework. But I got the golden seat next to Tim Esh, struggled through our chat, and got an "A+" in discussion.

I should've been perfect for my practicum lesson because it took me hours to prepare. I did very well, but should've included more student activity and wait time. My cooperating teacher told my adjunct professor that I've been tired and not-all-there lately. I should have been communicating with her about my shingles and work load. I had to explain that I was a hard worker and not a party-er.

I should've read When You Reach Me before dinner. But I got stopped by Nick and Mike and talked into playing a couple games of spicey uno. It was very relaxing, but afterwards I fell asleep... curled up in a ball.. on an armchair in McConn.

Should've finished my 10 page research paper by now. Should've written my practicum journal and had my other journals made up. Should've written my scholarship letter. Should've begun my English Ed Philosophy paper. Should've started my reading to lead Thursday's Mark Twain seminar. Should've finished my metacognitive papers by now.

Should've, should've, should've.

Imma bathe this in peace. Rejoice in the Lord. Don't be anxious in anything. Be thankful! Pray! God's peace transcends understanding.

crunch time.

I feel like Hogarth Hughs on coffee right now. In fact, "Hogarth Huges on coffee" is pretty much synonymous with "Bethany Mueller on coffee."

So I'm here at Paynes with Lauren "the boy scout" Rudd, Kayla "gnome" Johnson, and Danielle "ADD" Faust. It's a beautiful celebration. A celebration of Crunch Time. A time when I eat apple walnut paninis (WHUUUT) and drink irish creme coffee and squirm around in a booth until Kayla tells me to hold my feet still. The snow hushes the stress beautifully.

Here is a quote:

Kayla: Why are you on facebook??

Danielle: ... I was takin' a break.

Kayla: You're life is a break.

Here is today's to-do list:

-First 5 pages of paper for Mark Twain seminar (I would say, "sem" like some casual honors college kid... but I'm a regular old kid.)

-300 pages of The Mysterious Benedict Society

-Read 100 pages of When You Reach Me

-Grade a couple metacognitive papers

Tomorrow's:

-Second 5 pages of Mark Twain paper

-Read last 100 pages of When You Reach Me

-Begin yet another adolescent lit book (get half-way)

-Write a lesson plan and a post test for practicum

-Read No. 44 chapters 1-19

Tuesday's:

-Finish that last adolescent lit. book

-Write a report on my adolescent lit. books

-Write a Philosophy of English Education paper

-Read No. 44 chapters 20-34

Wednesday's:

-Write Eve character analysis paper

-THEMATIC UNIT

... that's as far as I'm thinking right now. And I have no idea if I have any tests this week... :)

3 days, 2 all nighters.

You know that part in Indiana Jones where Harrison Ford has to walk across a bridge that looks invisible? I feel like that's where I am. I'm a couple steps on the bridge... and I look down... and there's nothing holding me up! But there I am! Phew.

At the end of this all, I'll compile a list of what was accomplished by Divine power over this short period of time. Seriously. Divine. God is getting alllll the glory on this one.

hyperbole isn't even possible

I can't express how much work I have to do. It's inexpressible. I've never heard anyone tell me they had this much work. I've never encountered this much work. I genuinely might have to re-take a couple classes if I don't get all this done.

I'm not upset! I'm just so overwhelmed that my emotions have gone on screensaver mode. My brain is a dead man walking.

I am a small bug under a piano. If someone could play Rhapsody in Blue whilst I leak my little bug juices, I would appreciate it.