snail mail; snail travel

It takes over half an hour to walk to the post office one way, but I felt like walking. I thought I was challenging the world when I chose feet over tires.

I tried to think, but it didn't really work. I was trying to define where I lived. I was trying to describe it to someone who hadn't experienced it. Forward pushing fast preoccupied fenced. I was dissatisfied with those words -- I'm proud of where I live, but I'm also critical. It's a conglomerate instead of a community. A place of variety and symbiosis. Constant take that creates balance.

I don't think I feel part of this place in a way that helps me describe it subjectively. Now I wonder if I'm talking about California or the world.

Sometimes don't you wish everyone lived snail lives?

and scene.

Graham threw a fit, so I put down my painting to save his aids. (They're put in this awkward position when Graham gets violent -- they can't do anything, but they're supposed to do something. And they feel bad, but he's intimidating. It's embarrassing for them, I'm sure. They're being watched, so they simultaneously want to do something and don't want to do something.)

Mom and the two aids watched as I took Graham's gameboy player and fixed it. Graham sat on the dining room table, screaming. I gave it to him, but he was already over the edge -- it didn't matter that it was fixed. There was hair pulling and arm scratching and gameboy throwing, but I just looked at him and said, "You know what? Let's get off the table and go upstairs. I'm going to sit on you."

I told the aids to take a seat downstairs since Graham was overstimulated. Then I told him he couldn't get on his computer and pinned him on the bed. He screamed and tried to kick me, but I just held him there with a pillow between us. The squashing helps him calm down. I slowly counted to twenty, sometimes squeezing him, sometimes counting in a funny voice. He screamed and slowly loosened up -- then started to laugh. I told him to take one big breath, then let him up. When he got up, I told him to apologize, so he patted me on the shoulder.

Then I went downstairs and tidied up and talked to the aids so they would feel more comfortable. After a while, I've retreated back upstairs.

I don't mind Graham's fits, but I really don't like being watched by people who won't ever understand.

pictures i found

I like nature and glowing things. One day I'm going to have a garden that glows.

Girls just make things more complicated.

then he called 9-1-1

One of my favorite parts of traveling to LA and back was at 1 AM this morning. Anna and Caitlin had left and the guys were walking around the house, trying to figure out if anything else was missing.

It had begun with "... where's the Blue Ray player?" and it continued on to "... wasn't the small TV sitting here?" Poor Zack. The roommates who had moved out were contacted. The friends who had visited were contacted. No one knew anything.

So Zack called 911 (Nick recorded the call) and the police came. I sat on the couch in my pajamas, eating chocolate ice cream, and watched Zack and Nick give their info to the LAPD. It was great. We talked about the position of the furniture and cords that looked as though they had left in a hurry, we talked about my childhood dream of becoming a detective, we talked about New York... it was 1 am and we were just talking to the nice police man while his deputies scouted the doors with flashlights.

Nick and Zack then brought up the fact that the last time just the three of us were together late at night, a wolf spider attacked Nick's house. So they decided I was bad luck. But I got to eat ice cream and get a little adrenaline rush and a good story. So that's just fine. ;)

Little Update

If you knew me anytime before this year, you'd know that I used to carry around a little black moleskine and write down funny things. Sometimes the quotes were funny in the moment, other quotes have become timeless.

Well, today I updated/re-created my quote page and put a link to it on the sidebar. The older sections have some formatting issues, but feel free to browse at your leisure. You're probably in there somewhere.

All good things

1. I woke up this morning to my dad dancing a letter into my hands from one Michael Conner. Yes, I did wake up late. No, the mail never comes at 9 am. Yes, I love getting letters. No, I needed to put another "no" to parallel the second "yes."

2. One Kayla Maree Johnson blessed me with a phone call this morning. For those of us who were with Kayla during her "rainforest-frogs-text-beep" phase, you'll understand the humor of her ringtone being "rainforest-frogs." We chatted and I missed her. I even did a GREAT job of not being jealous because she, Anne, and Mike all got to hang out this weekend. I'm so happy they're friends. :)

3. Shelty took me on a date. She texted me and asked me if that would be okay, and I said yes, not realizing she was SERIOUS. She picked me up and presented me with a rose. We then went to family church (Matt abandoned us for REAL family). She then took me out to Thai because she's just a great date. Don't let her tell you stories about how I say "HUH!" in the big auditorium when the Pastor says something interesting about the history of Bethlehem. Don't let her tell you how silent the rest of the room was. Don't let her tell you she laughed about it for 5 minutes straight. She then walked me to the door after she dropped me off, like a gentleman. Gentleshelty.

4. I picked up canvases and paints and a giant purple crochet hook. The beginning of Lodge dec prep has begun. Lodge dec prep. LDP. Serious business. Our Lodge is going... to be... LEGIT.

I told Anne I was making a HANDMADE rug like this. Anne asked if the cats were included.

Maybe it's because I lived in a freshman girls dorm...

but these videos REALLY tickle me. Shelty agreed. You just have to know college girls. OR (for the second and third videos) the kind of college guys who are into sports and poker.

Harvard Sailing Team Presents:

Boys Will Be Girls

Boys Will Be Girls -- Night Out

Boys Will Be Girls -- Bixby the Cat

Alms? Alms for educators adept in English?

Can I just say that the government's competitive desire for science and math teachers is good, but their underestimation of the need for more/better English teachers is ridiculous. English teachers can be "good" because they can easily make the classroom fun, but the potential that they let slip through their fingers is unnerving.

Students can "pass" English naturally -- but language, communication, creativity, critical thinking... it's all being overrun by technology. And people are okay with this because the scores keep up.

There's so much more to English -- I just wish my importance as a good educator in general would be acknowledged. ... monetarily.

It's just going to take longer to pay my loans off.

So I've done what I always do when I start to worry about something: I do lots of research and pinpoint a tentative plan of action. Now I feel better. AND you know what? God will provide. I'm not going to starve and goodness knows jobs exist if you're willing to go places.

1. Begin working at a school that qualifies for the Teacher Loan Forgiveness Program. Work on getting into Teach for America. There are plenty of schools in Grant County, Kalamazoo, and the Bay Area.

2. Transfer to a Teach for America school that still qualifies for the TLFP. The qualifications should intersect beautifully.

3. Consider applying for APLE before 3rd year of teaching... this would require me to live in California...

Remember when? Find jokes you were in on...

(I got all this stuff off my cell phone)

Remember when...

Danielle was Gandalf?

Music made us want to fly through fire?

Danielle creeped on South hall from under the ping pong table?

Art night was always a success?

Eric Price was silver in McConn and it was the biggest thing in weeks?

I had shingles?

You creeped from the study room?

You used your sock to clean up coffee in the library?

Danielle dutch-boy patched her soup bowl with spinach?

Emily lied about taking exlax for "the contest" and Danielle panicked?

There were Christmas lights strung between North and South hall?

Kayla was ashamed to be using a Malone blanket?

Noelle had a random piece of clothing hanging on her door? Do not disturb.

Emily texted the world over Christmas about footies.

Emily had her FIRST face surgery?

We used Emily's face to frame our welcome-back-Danielle-note?

Nick helped Anne pick outfits from her wardrobe and it became a unit event?

We Snow-Dayed on the retention pond?

Lindsay used a snuggie as a blanket when we nomadically camped out at Grace?

Anne and I combined our spanish and french powers and desecrated the game of Scrabble for lab credit?

The phone cord got stuck... and then Ashley got stuck... and then Mary Beth was stuck?

I bought my 4th mailbox key, only to find the original under my mattress?

We concentrated for two hours, working diligently, to finish this puzzle, just because?

Throwback Dedication: Emilie and Katelyn

Emilie Schrock-at-the-time and Katelyn Barnhart serenaded Anne and I during midterms this past semester.

The acoustic set and dance was a much appreciated change of pace for the Annster and myselfster.

What could we do during their impromptu Skype show but take screenshots?

What good friends. Livin' with KatelynKatiebeeKaybsKayblee this fall!!

Throwback Quotes - Summer '10

Dear God, I pray for candy... from God. Amen. -Skylar, age 4

I'm the Step Mother, and when I go to the ball, you have to cry. -Marisell, age 4

Can you hand me my bushes? -Spencer, referring to his glasses

Bush? Like Albert Bush? I mean, George Bush? -Shelty

Is anybody gunna eat this guacamole? -Shelty, talking about wasabi

(Matt is trying to figure out what music genre I represent in a game called Psychiatrist:)

Matt: What kind of music icon would represent you?

Bethany: Wolfgang Amadaes Mozart.

Matt: ... I don't know... who WOLFGANG is!

Bethany: Why were you in a dumpster?

Nick: Why wouldn't I be in a dumpster?

Hair. The new bald. -Nick/Beth

I would be an alien before I would be white. -Nick

The time died. I mean, the electricity. -Shelty

Matt, two branches is more than one. -Shelty

A love septagon is like 3 love triangles. That's why it's the worst. -Matt

I'm either blinded by the sun or blinded by the blinders. Either way, I'm blind. -Shelty

My arms hurt when I don't have chocolate. Is that bad? -Shelty

And I woke up all anxious because Chelsea was married and there was a prostitution ring in my dorm! -Bethany

Brittany: I have been developing a mild peanut allergy.

Nick: Those have peanuts in them.

Brittany: Mah - I'll be fine.

Remember that time two different Brittanys were battling for her face? -Nick

You know what my least favorite medical condition is? Pregnancy. -Steph or Becca, Haiti

The DMV has NOTHING on Haitian hospitals. -Amy, Haiti

My wrists feel woozy... like floaty. If I had to play operation right now... I couldn't. -Fan, Haiti

You know it's hot when your gum starts acting like it's already been chewed... when it's still in the box. -Brian, Haiti

You are SO first world. -Katie to Becca, Haiti

Excuse me, Jodie Foster, don't leave your passport on the bed. -Katie, Haiti

Becca: If they don't like the way the election's going, they'll riot and we'll never get home!

Jeannine: Not RIOT. Protest.

Becca: Have you seen a Haitian protest? It's probably a riot.

If you had three ears, I doubt you'd gage all three. -Steph, Haiti

Jean. Jean! That girl has a machete in her pocket. -Hilary, Haiti

MISSIONS

Summer goals:

1. Step onto a path labeled "a book you maybe like"... wander for a little while, then TRIP dramatically -- roll wrecklessly down a uncharted hill full of brambles and wildflowers. Get to the bottom, climb back up to post a sign labeled, "Books Bethany likes. Step with care." Paint a flower next to it for fun.

2. Write poetry like I'm playing hide and seek with a two year old. Write poetry like I'm playing chess with someone I'd very much like to beat.

3. Keep note of plots and characters for November. Pretend it will be a lot of fun. Become disproportionately excited at times.

4. Swim like a little kid. Often and with zero inhibitions.

5. Think very deep thoughts on the swing outside.

6. Write a lot of letters. Fill them with thoughts and quotes and pictures and poems.

7. Start a recipes notebook. Oooo boy.

8. Organize the whole world. Get rid of many things.

Well, the Yankees swept the A's under the rug. It wasn't awful. But it wasn't pretty. Shelty and I still had a good time. An ice cream sandwich and a couple inside jokes do WONDERS for a 7-run lead. (I went to the game with Shelty. I'm so glad. We're going to be accountability partners. It's going to be great. She's such a keeper.)

I'm starting to feel like myself again, and I'm excited to get into the swing of reading and writing and cleaning and living like a Californian. This is my last summer home, probably. Weird. (Buckle up. This summer is like... the Battle of Pelennor Fields in Lord of the Rings. It's the last one, it's got a lot of goals and a lot of elements, and it's memorable. I haven't seen those movies since Robert M's 19th birthday, I don't think. That's was years ago.