Say "AH"

I'm not a big fan of the dentist. But, as my father optimistically says, once he doesn't have a job anymore, I won't have insurance. And THEN how will my teeth get cleaned? Good point, dad. Good point.

It was one of those "horror story" dentist things. Man, the writer in me would love to take those escapades and twist them into a Patrick McManus-esque tale of toe-curling woes. But I'll abstain. I hadn't been to the dentist since 2007, so I guess I had it coming. I was in that funny leather chair for maybe 4 hours. The former two were waiting and the latter two were a minty swirl of drilling, filling, and cleaning.

There's something humbling about holding a mirror as someone points to a grove in the back of your teeth and says, "See that? That means you're incapable of the neanderthal task of brushing your teeth." It's even more humbling when your response is limited to a garbly, drooly "Guhh huhh." I'd like to say, "I promise, nice dentist lady, I go to college. I got a respectable SAT score. I have talents and abilities and assets outside of my genetically inherited deeply grooved teeth!" But somehow it ends up boiling down to "Guhh huhh" and a slight nod.

Am I the only person in the world who is thinks about choking at the dentist? My mouth is open wider than that toothy sand hole monster in Return of the Jedi. There's 20 fingers holding pokers and drillers and suckers right above its' abyss... what's stopping anything from falling right down home plate and stabbing my uvula like some sick pinball game? Maybe just me. But I feel like my tongue is playing goalie... just in case.

The whole right side of my face was numb today and I could've have been more of a child about it. It was fascinating. I took a drink of water and one side of my tongue said, "This water is cold" while the other said, "This water is warm." Half of me couldn't taste or feel or pronounce anything. It was like my body was Goldilocks with a MPD.

The whole time I was having work done in my mouth, I was thanking God. I was thanking him for the anesthetic, the ability to go to the dentist, the ability to save my teeth from future pain... how lucky am I that I live in America and can just have these things done? We're SO lucky. I've touched briefly on my Haiti trip, but I need to jot down specific stories soon. Will do.

Side notes: Dad's computer is dead. Again. Poor dad. He needs a new one. Again. That's really bad. We played Liverpool rummy. Mom and dad tied. It was fun :) I'm teaching myself how to knit. It's easier than I thought it would be. Peace an' blessings.

Watch this and this.