after a covenant on "joy"

Heavy. Lots of heavy topics seeping in from the unit. My brain is full of all this depressing molasses. Super Bethany (one day there will be a picture) would micro-manage! She would leap buildings and hop McConn lines just for the smile on the face of a resident!

But Super Bethany is... unfortunately... a myth. I put that cape away long ago... and probably donated it to Goodwill during one of the plethora of clothing drives (good work, OC's. Good work).

And this Bethany's got molasses on the brain. And she's tired. Apparently just tired from a sudden "SHINGLES" attack. But tired nonetheless.

There's so much anxiety and depression and suicide and death and broken families and broken relationships and skewed perspectives. Satan, you're holding a sick kaleidoscope in front of our world. And we're convinced that all we're meant for is to deal with the shards.

There's so much to take care of here and, when break comes, so much to deal with there. Give me my joy! What does joy mean right now? Maybe that's this year's lesson. Last year it was love. Now it might be joy.

I'm thankful for my parents and Ben. I'm thankful for the staff. I'm thankful for Kayla. I'm thankful for Anne. I'm thankful for Kelly and her engagement. I'm thankful for the Koches. I'm thankful for my few South hall friends. I'm thankful for my talents. I'm thankful for grace. I'm thankful for my practicum class. I'm thankful for Nick, Chelsea, Spencer, Christine, and Matt. I'm thankful for IWU. I'm thankful for my job. I'm thankful that things have been so much heavier and God has given me joy. He has saved me from death and sustained me in the face of death. He has not lied. He will not lie. He is my joy.