Mourning

I've witnessed a lot of hurt this past week. People bringing each other down. Friends, acquaintances... people with hearts and souls and dreams and feelings. To one person, they confide their concerns, fears, and regrets -- and to another, they are demeaning, condemning, condescending... I didn't know. I see how beautiful all of these people are, but how they're dealing with their insecurities by not being loving to others.

I ache for my friends. I ache for my sisters, for the girls in my unit.

One of the themes I dedicated to my year was vulnerability. Others were honesty and openness. Ridding ourselves of malice, growing in love, encouraging one another... I prayed these things over each door in my unit. I quoted them as my life verses. They became ideals that certainly don't define me, but they're things I chase.

I cried yesterday for people I love who feel inadequate and hated. I cried the day before for people who don't feel worthy who I know are - of everything, by grace.

It's something I wish I could soap box. It's something I wish didn't happen. It's something that has brought me to my knees, literally. It's a challenge to me and my standards. How can I love more effectively? Higher, greater, deeper dependance on God. I hope more than anything it overflows onto the people around me.

Have mercy on us, God. We're broken.