challenges and gifts

This is pre-all-nighter act of catharsis.

Challenges. I walked out of my 7:50 Mark Twain Seminar class on Tuesday with the following assignment: watch 3 youtube videos, overview 3 databases, read a 30 page article, read 4 short stories, update the online encyclopedia, and write a 4 page paper... due Thursday. Go. Oh, it was utterly laughable. I'm interested in Mark Twain and I like a challenge, but I'm also an RA in a freshmen dorm. So, I took a deep breath.

I then walked into my night class, Methods of Teaching English. It began with a panel of students who had taken the class last semester. They did reassure us that the class was utterly worthwhile and entirely vital. They also used phrases like "blood and tears" and described their different phases of mental/emotional breakdowns. The syllabus was not a syllabus. It was a literal folder. It outlined all of the work that I would do this semester in the class, and it was packaged like raw meat... I visualized it dripping with my blood and tears and making that bright red folder soggy. I walked out of the class and my brain was soggy. I journalled during the break my desire to drop my major. I journalled my feelings of inadequacy -- too intellectual for my relational friends and not intellectual enough for my scholarly peers.

Blessings.

I walked back to my dorm and there was an encouraging note in the shape of an inside joke sitting on my chair. There was also a snack. I've been ridiculously blessed with an uplifting brother RA.

Today I got a package in the mail from one of my best friends. It was an I-saw-it-and-thought-of-you gift. A half a cup. I would rather get one I-thought-of-you gift a year than 1000 presents because of a birthday or holiday. How special. :)

Even though it took a lot of time out of my day, making shirts ended up being a great catalyst for Lodge Ball today. I got to give a screamy pep speech, watch the girls win, and jump up and down with them. They bonded, took pictures, and added each other on facebook. I couldn't be more happy with them. I also go to see the most epic Lodge Ball game ever. David Goodwin is RIDICULOUS. Nikki covered for me that whole time on my first on duty night. She was so great to volunteer -- I didn't even ask.

Elle and Jeanette brought Anne and I McConn "just because." Two years ago, they were in our exact positions. I love the tradition behind that. I love that we were friends before it even happened. I love that I'm sipping on a 16 oz zebra at the beginning of a long night.

I love my Anne's, I love my Allison's, I love my Kayla's, I love my staffs, I love my brothers, I love my residents, I - LOVE - MY - WHOLE - DORM. I can do anything, yeah yeah, I can do anything good.......