Thursday, January 19, 2012

it is (definitely) well

I'm really freaked out about going to my 2nd placement. How am I a Christian in the classroom, when Christianity isn't allowed? You can feel the warmth of a fire even if it's hidden from view. I think that's the answer.
A moment of doubt and fear and self-pity and then -- 
I am immersed 
in the freedom of a community 
of believers who release my fear 
into God's hands 
before my grip can tighten. 
And over me washes 
the realization of the grace 
that has already come and that will continue to come forever.
And it sounds so Christian-y 
but it feels so good because 
it is more real and more hopeful 
than a thousand selfish 
worries, whose itches I had wanted to scratch for a moment of relief 
until I bled. But
now He's bled.
He's bled 
an aloe eternal 
for every worry to come.
So now I have no excuse
because I know
He saved me from the desert
and gave me family away from family
and said "I will send you"
and allowed me to say "Choose someone else"
before He has said,
"Who makes you deaf or mute? 
Who gives you sight or makes you blind?"
and I have no excuse
because I know
He is the "Who"
and who am I to say that
"I" am useless 
by the power of "I Am"?

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