I'm really freaked out about going to my 2nd placement. How am I a Christian in the classroom, when Christianity isn't allowed? You can feel the warmth of a fire even if it's hidden from view. I think that's the answer.
A moment of doubt and fear and self-pity and then --
I am immersed
in the freedom of a community
of believers who release my fear
into God's hands
before my grip can tighten.
And over me washes
the realization of the grace
that has already come and that will continue to come forever.
And it sounds so Christian-y
but it feels so good because
it is more real and more hopeful
than a thousand selfish
worries, whose itches I had wanted to scratch for a moment of relief
until I bled. But
now He's bled.
He's bled
an aloe eternal
for every worry to come.
So now I have no excuse
because I know
He saved me from the desert
and gave me family away from family
and said "I will send you"
and allowed me to say "Choose someone else"
before He has said,
"Who makes you deaf or mute?
Who gives you sight or makes you blind?"
and I have no excuse
because I know
He is the "Who"
and who am I to say that
"I" am useless
by the power of "I Am"?
like a boss
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