it just happens

The weather is beautiful today. I was able to lie outside of the lodge gazebo in the sun while listening to acoustics at Card Me. The grass was dry and bugs did not crawl on me. What more could I ask for? Kayla and I attempted badminton and did not succeed.

The sermon this morning was from 1 John 3. It was all about God's love and our need to get to know Christ and keep taking in His love so we can dish it out and so on. God has given me a fascination for His love that I hope I never lose.

Some delightful soul left Ramen noodles outside our door. Isn't that great? It is. It will be my 4th meal tonight :)

It just happens. Despite all these things that would normally boost my spirit, I am in a funk. I don't think it's been overt, but my heart feels angsty. It just goes to show that our environment doesn't completely control our emotions. There is something deeper in there as well. This is a very specific feeling that I often get coupled with anxiety. It's an odd desire- to want to withdraw from everyone but feel discontent when alone. It will fade sooner than later. I have put on my Sherlock Holmes hat and deducted that the following things might be weighing on me:

-End of the year goodbye-dread?

-Seniors graduating sadness?

-Unwillingness to fully accept the changes that next year will bring?

-Longing for relationship with God that I haven't fully embraced?

-Tiredness?